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Sizewise, and otherwise...

Ever since Malaysia won the bid, eight years ago, to conduct the 16th Commonwealth Games at Kuala Lumpur, criticism has been a constant.

Doubts were raised about the Malaysian captial's ability to hold the first Commonwealth Games in Asia. The most common grounds for attack included the haze, a condition held to be detrimental to the health of athletes. Then came the issue of the country's drug laws. Though only serious drug traffickers are sentenced to death by hanging, sections of the media implied that even steroid users -- or rather, abusers -- could find themselves dancing on a rope.

Interestingly, the buzz is that all participating countries have been told, off the record, that in the event of any drug abuse being detected in course of routine testing, the concerned person will be tipped off on the qt, and allowed to leave the country before the official proclamation is made.

Some participants however continue to insist that the organisers have not done enough to dispel the fears of the athletes, in regard to the country's drug laws.

Further, as befits an Islamic state, even AIDS is a bugbear, the word is rarely if ever mentioned in public. It is the women athletes who are more forthcoming on the issue. ``I think we should address the matter. Despite providing us with good facilities, the organisers have failed to carry out AIDS preventive measures," a Canadian swimmer said.

In this context, the furore surrounding former US diving champ Greg Louganis will be recalled. Louganis had cracked his head on the board during the Los Angeles Olympics, but continued with his dives thereafter. Later, it was discovered that he had AIDS. This raised the fear that his AIDS-infected blood, having got into the pool, could have put other swimmers and divers at risk.

The men atheletes, however, tend to shy away from the subject and, in fact, from the media. Archetypical of their attitude was this rather hunky Scottish athlete, who, when asked about things like sex and AIDS, said he didn't mind discussing it, but only on condition of anonymity. ``You crazy or what?," he demanded. "They'll murder me in the shower room!'' And even as he spoke, he was trying to cover up his identity badge with his hand.

``Actually, I am an open-minded person but if you want to publish what I have to say about the sizes of the condoms on sale in Kuala Lumpur, then I would rather not have my name in the story,'' he said.

He then admitted there was some truth in the news going the rounds in the Games village that condoms sold in Malaysia didn't fit the, well, job requirements. The buzz is that the condoms are too small for the Caucasian and African athletes.

``But I think it's a bit of an exaggeration to say that it is a major problem at the Games Village, as there woulndn't be much sexual activity here in the first place,'' the athlete said, adding quickly that this was just his personal opinion.

A Kenyan superstar, again on condition that his name be left out of the story, came up with the most colourful quote on the subject. "No, I don't think Africans have it any longer!"

Whether he was referring to physical size, or to the ability to engage in sexual activity in the midst of the heat and dust of competition, is something the athlete wouldn't elaborate on.

All this, of course, has nothing to do with the real business that brings us all to Kuala Lumpur, which is competition, on the track and in the field. But then, the official inaugural is some hours away yet, time enough for the serious stuff in the days to follow.