All's hunky-dory!

There is no match-fixing in India.

April Fool

Just another day in fools' paradise: Believe me, that's my name. Everything else that points to Avinash being my real name is lies. Why? Because I say so. And I am omnipotent. And omniscient. And have the power. And the pen is in my hands. So you either take my word for it or, go fly a kite. And that's putting it mildly.

-- Reality check --

Hi, I am Avinash, and what does the above paragraph remind you of? To me, that's what the Great Indian Fix has been reduced to. A farce being enacted for fools. (And if we still need to be told who the audience is, well, is all I have to say.) Or as the gent in the ad would say…'yeh bhi yahi se fix hoga'. In fact, sometimes I wish I were Jaywant Lele. Or Manoj Prbhakar. Or Kapil Dev. Or Azhar. Or Jadeja. Or Mongia. Or David Richards. Or any of the other jokers getting away with, pretty much, whatever they want to.

Who cares if they are accountable or not for any of their actions to anyone? We don't. Who cares if they refuse to, even after all this, lose the arrogance of their ways? We don't. Who cares if they dish out white lie after white lie after white lie? (In varied hues of tears, drama, bland denials, deathly silence, threats of legal action and 15 page statements of legalese.) We…just…don't! and even if we do, way too less. After all, we're good Indians. Passivity is our middle name. Gonads are things we lose in the face of superstardom and power. The resultant blaséness is but a by-product of all this, our collectively short public memory and, by now, desensitized sensibilities.

We will forgive anything. We will let the cancer that has been growing, and was so steadfastly ignored by all and sundry, thrive by not striking at the roots. We will look for soft measures. And settle for little actions. (Mostly inaction.) Like, a slap on the wrist here. An eye wash of a Chandrachud Enquiry there. Selective implementation of the recommended remedies, post the CBI report. The appointment of a Commissioner but with, how expected, no executive powers. Hold numerous press conferences filled with more lies than media people. And use the code of conduct as a tool for obfuscation. Then, this too shall pass.

Jadeja will come back in the reckoning. (With mobile phone in tow.) Jadeja will think we believe he is not guilty because he scored the most in one of the matches Azhar so coyly said they reportedly 'did' together. (If Cronje's word was 'temptation', Azhar's has got to be 'did'.) Of course, Jadeja is completely, unequivocally, and spiritually, innocent! How silly of us to suspect otherwise. How easy it is to see that just because he scored the highest he couldn't have had any role to play in any match-fixing. Any other questions? That's there in the report. Next? That's also in the report. No answers, only reports. Is this how someone who is innocent would behave? Maybe we should look for that too in the report.

Same difference with everything else that's wrong. Of course Mongia is innocent. Of course, Kapil is squeaky clean. Of course Punjab players are not being discriminated against. Of course, no one has any scores to settle. Of course, the CBI report is all crock, MK, the only crook, and 'Cricketopia' is Indian cricket. Really guys, if only it were as simple as that! Then again, maybe it is. For the people who run things 'round here, dole out the punishments and take all the important decisions, it might well be as final as that. And the rest of the million or so of us won't do a thing about it.

We don't deserve to know what is going to happen to all the cricketers with the millions in illegal, undisclosed and unexplained income. You see, there is no match-fixing. So what if bookies make 60 calls a day to a player. Still, there is no match-fixing. Everything points to hanky panky in some domestic matches. But, there is no match-fixing. Nobody believed the Delhi Police when they first came out with their disclosures. Players are not picked on merit. Youngsters' careers are willing to be sacrificed because someone thinks it fit to allow one someone a shot at completing 100 Tests. Hey, everything is hunky dory and…you got it, there is no match-fixing. Forget the fact that the whole country believes there is match-fixing. Just for the, stuck, record, here is no match-fixing in India. And that's the bottom line. Because Jaywant Lele said it. (With due apologies to Stone Cold Steve Austin.)

ps: Just a little note of thanks to people like Shubhakar Neela for taking the trouble to read and write back long letters, in the hope that it will have some kind of galvanizing effect on more of us. The effort is truly appreciated. And as always, welcomed at s.avi@mailcity.com

Avinash Subramanium

Mail Avinash Subramanium